my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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