hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
