Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
it was like eating out sand paper
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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