So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
