I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
