that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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