we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
