At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
