I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
sex in a hospital.. check
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
