How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
