Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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