Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
