Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
