is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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