OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
