I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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