8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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