I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
