Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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