I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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