Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
