we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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