he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
NoShamevember. You game?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
