i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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