meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The beer is more important than you right now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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