I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
