We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
