I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
