Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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