your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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