My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
