i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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