I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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