i barfeds in our rink
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We need to rekindle our bromance
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
