Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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