She's JV to your varsity
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
