just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
