We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
