The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
