Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
