So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
