That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Randomize
