if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
