I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
