..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
