We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
