Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
