i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
