He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize