I hate your face
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
