I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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