oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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