I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I love you.
Bad choice
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