Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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