nut hugger
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
