Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
