i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
