Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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