The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
