he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
