Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
