I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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