i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
