Will you blow on my dice?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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