Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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